You have a first date with a woman coming up? Maybe you´re excited about it, because she seems to be someone special. Therefore, you want to make sure she will like you? Or you didn’t have a date in a while and just don’t wanna mess it up? Alright, let’s get you ready!

There are several principles to keep in mind within the field of dating and attraction. Mostly these include character traits, that are required, if you want to be successful with women. Ideally you really develop them, not just pretend to possess them. Let’s look at how to apply the most important ones on a first date, in this post starting with:

Confidence

The most important of these character traits is confidence. In some cases, I also like to call it your strength. Being confident means being certain about what you want, what you like and who you are. That involves being able to communicate that clearly. Instead of acting insecure for example.

One way to be able to portrait that on a first date; is to use flirting, teasing, banter. Like calling her out, use humor in between during the normal conversation. At the same time, you don’t necessarily need to be funny. If that’s jut not you, that‘s absolutely fine. And in general, don‘t try to be a clown or to entertain her.

It‘s just important to spark that flirty vibe with her, as early as possible on the date. Especially the first one. To stay out of the friend zone and to set the right mood. Also to show, that you’re not intimidated by her looks. Maybe she is also cheeky herself and/or gives you little challenges.

You can do that by being a little cocky. Like „Yeah, I‘m used to people not listening to me, because they are impressed with my good looks. Or when you talk about the importance of protein in a healthy diet – „Of course, how else would I be able to maintain these mountains of muscles“. Naturally, that approach works especially well, if you don‘t seriously mean any of that. It also works especially well, if you‘re not the model type, have a „baby face“ like mine or you‘re fit, but not the biggest guy in the room.

If she is surprised how well you are able to read her thoughts, say „Yeah, I know everything.“ Or „I’m omnipresent“ – whatever works in the moment and will get the both of you to be playful. It’s okay to be a bit stupid. Just relax. Or… if you have a thick accent, „brag“ about your skills in speaking a foreign language. So overdue it and also include your weaknesses. To make sure the vibe is playful, instead of really bragging or trying to impress her all the time.

It’s also great to use banter. To confidently say „I’m afraid it won’t work out between us, if you’re a dog person. Because I’m a cat person. Or „…if you like vanilla, but I like chocolate.“ Or. „I know you’re only using me to keep you warm.“ etc. Just aim to turn the game around. Usually the guy is trying to qualify himself. Switch it to letting her qualify herself.

More examples? Okay: Call her „modest“, if she seems to be bragging about something. Try to twist things she says. If you pay attention and have some experience, she will give you all the material you need for that. But make sure to punch up, not down. It‘s a form of teasing. It‘s not about nagging or putting her down constantly. Just act like you would do with a close friend. Given that you don‘t nagg and putt your close friends down all the time of course.

One or two ideas can be enough to spark the right vibe on a date and then you just go from there.

If she tests you, and she will, stand your ground. Don’t let her push you off your center. If she calls you mean for example, simply agree. The more confident you appear, the more she will test. To see if that’s just a show you’re putting on.

Talking about agreeing – don’t agree with everything she says, just to make her like you. At some point, I started to welcome chances to disagree from time to time on a date. As a chance to show confidence and being able to stand my ground. Just dance to your own tune and when in doubt, choose the strongest course of action.

Of course on a physical level the principle of confidence also includes your body language. So just stand straight, shoulders back and down and hold your head up high. If you sit in a restaurant, just lean back, spread your legs wide, open up, feel comfortable and show that.

So if you want my help for your personal challenges book a 1 on 1 coaching session with me